How Not to be a Royal

As Bridgit Mendler once sang, “You'll be my William, I'll be your Kate, livin' like a fairytale. We could have a palace right next to Oprah, 37 cars and a yacht down in Boca” (singing it in your head yet?) It seems Harry and Meghan may have taken those lyrics a bit too literally. Once seen as the dazzling new faces of a modern monarchy — Harry, the rebellious spare with a wounded heart, and Meghan, the ambitious American actress with a tiara-ready smile — their story captured the world’s imagination. But five years after their dramatic royal exit — ‘Megxit’ as it’s snidely dubbed — the fairytale has taken a turn. With Harry stepping back from Sentebale, the charity he co-founded, and persistent rumors of personal strain, we’re left wondering: where did it all go wrong?

In hindsight, the warning bells rang well before the wedding bells. When their engagement was announced, many were struck by the very public fractures in Meghan’s family. Her father, Thomas Markle, made repeated media appearances pleading for contact, while half-siblings aired grievances from across the pond. The concern wasn’t just tabloid titillation — it was a genuine public unease about what happens when someone with strained family ties enters an institution built on lineage, duty, and continuity.

And yet, there was optimism. A hope that Harry and Meghan could modernise the Firm, injecting it with relevance, compassion, and a touch of celebrity energy. But rather than modernise from within, they chose a different route as half-in, half-out royals. They would step back from duties, live abroad, and speak openly about grievances — yet retain their titles, expect taxpayer-funded security, and still wield royal cachet. The arrangement was novel and, ultimately, untenable.

Harry has long blamed the press for his mother’s death and the intrusion that stole his youth. But there’s a touch of contradiction in the Sussexes’ relationship with the media. Since moving to the US, they’ve courted the limelight through multimillion-dollar deals — including a tell-all Oprah interview watched by millions across the globe and a $100 million Netflix contract. The very industry they accuse of hounding them became, briefly, their cash-cow.

But that brand — built largely on grievance and institutional critique — is running out of steam. Grievance has a shelf life. Eventually, audiences want more than someone else’s family score-settling. They’ve tried to deliver that “more”, but with little success. The segue from royal drama to lifestyle content hasn’t landed.

Spotify dropped Meghan’s podcast Archetypes after one season, with a senior executive reportedly calling the couple “grifters”. Netflix quietly axed Meghan’s animated project Pearl, and her new curated film series Watch With Love, Meghan was panned by critics: “high on gloss, low on human connection”, said British Vogue; “toe-curlingly unlovable”, sneered The Guardian.

What’s left is a story in limbo. On one side of the Atlantic, the royals carry on — William and Kate remain popular, modernising quietly and without drama. On the other, the Sussexes seem increasingly adrift, caught between celebrity and royalty, never fully embraced by either.

The UK will always be Harry’s home — and, by extension, Meghan’s, too. And I’m sure the hospitable British public would — despite low poll ratings — welcome them back when the time is right. William and Harry, through shared grievance with the public, will always have a place in the nation’s heart.

And that is perhaps the real pity. Because there was a version of this tale that could have ended differently. Had Meghan weathered the storm a little longer, had Harry shown more patience, they might have reshaped the establishment from within. Instead, they walked away from the very thing so many dream of — only to find that life outside the palace gates is no fairy tale either.

That was the fascination with Megxit all along. The public’s captivation was rooted in disbelief: how bad could it really have been? But when the answer turned out to be “not all that bad”, interest waned. The plot stalled, stuck in a loop of blame. And now, five years on, the world is moving on — even if the couple haven’t. So, if you ever find yourself marrying into royalty (don’t laugh — stranger things have happened in St Andrews), maybe give it some more time. Life behind palace walls might just suit you after all.